Real Fathers in the Real World--by Linden Malki

                         
"Fathers" are not fashionable in some parts of our culture; partly because our experience of fathers is not always healthy.  Once when I was looking for a Fathers' Day  Bible story, I realized that the number of  healthy fathers with good children described in Scripture is very small. We see more examples of failed fathers than not, and it is probably because human fathers are just that: human beings, with the limitations that implies. What should we expect from our fathers?  I was fortunate to have a good, godly father, not perfect but close enough. We had neighbors who were alcoholic fathers, abusive fathers, absent fathers, and my mom used to encourage the neighbor kids to play in our yard because she didn't trust some of the other parents. The contrast between human fathers and our Heavenly Father is almost enough to wonder why God chose that identity. Human beings were given a lot of freedom; we are capable of great evil, and also of great good. The best of human fathers use the "father" image of God as a pattern for their lives and their responsibility for their families and their communities.

Fathers are supposed to be strong, good examples of the appropriate authority in their communities. This can get out of hand with fathers who don't recognize that they are responsible as well for respect, and gentleness as well as strength, and knowing how to use their strength for helpfulness and appropriate authority rather than ego and inappropriate power. The best fathers realize that they are servants of God and answerable for their attitudes and how they use their authority.  Unfortunately, we live in a culture that includes the increasing belief that fathers are unnecessary and/or dangerous. In some cases, it leads to families without fathers available, and women without respect for men; and to boys and men without a sense of responsbility for anyone, including themselves. This also can lead to a disrespect or rejection of the idea of God, who is seen as either powerless or evil--or nonexistent. There are even political groups with the avowed intention of eliminating the family; although it was tried by early communist societies and was abandoned as unworkable.

The Biblical ideal is for men who recognize their need for a relationship with God that recognizes the primacy of God in human society, and learning from this relationship to have a Biblical relationship with their families and society. It is interesting that the New Testament advice describes this as husbands who love their families, and wives who respect their husbands. I have seen commentaries who point out that husbands who love their families will not mistreat them, and wives who are loved will not be afraid to respect their husbands. Scripturally and historically, families who put God in His proper place in their lives will find that putting God first will normally allow the rest of the relationships to work properly.