God's Family Relationships--by Linden Malki

We are all born into a relationship--actually, we are all born because of a relationship.The quality of that relationship varies from very good to horrible, unfortunately. It starts with the complication of there being three people, each with their own personalities, temperaments, and attitudes already in place. (Yes, in my experience, newborn babies have individual characteristics from birth; at least my four certainly did.) So to start with, you've got six combinations of these characteristics in place, and two of the three people have already had their inborn selves tweaked by at least two more people. As a church family, we just recently did a very interesting study in basic personalities, with their primary programming, and other secondary characteristics added into the mix. Just looking at this, it's amazing that we get along as well as we do.

There is another important factor in the study of relationships: the spiritual attitudes and training, if any, that we grow up with.  My parents were solid Christians going back several generations, and most of the people in the family were committed to Biblical values and teachings, for which I am very grateful. Most of our friends were church people, as well, and pretty decent folks, with their own quirks. There was one guy, a year older, that I was good friends with since childhood, and my dad had high hopes for a relationship with me. It almost happened, but when we were in college, I noticed that his  conversation and values were not what they had been, and this wasn't going to work. I've been in occasional touch with him over the years, and he has no interest in anything spiritual. I still pray for him.

My husband, although he had grown up a half-world away, had been raised in Protestant mission schools. He had surprisingly similar values to my family, and one of his brothers was an Arabic-language evangelist with American Bible school training.   I might say there is some baggage with some of his family, there is some alcoholism and a lot of drama with my inlaws, although most of it worked itself out during my mother-in-law's final illness. It was amazing to see how real life-and-death reality brought closure to a lot of assorted baggage!

One of the most dramatic loads of baggage I've helped deal with over the past 20 years is the story of Calvary/NorthPoint, now Sandals San Bernardino. There was a major sanctuary fire at the end of 1999, then our insurance company went into liquidation after 9/11 in 2001. We were in the middle of the sanctuary rebuild at that point, and too far into it to walk away.  We did fundraisers, and took out a loan with our credit union (their loan guy told me that he'd never walked into a loan application meeting with as high a faith factor as we had). We had a Christian school on campus at the time, but it developed financial problems, not helped with the 2008 market crash and the exodus of folks from San Bernardino, and we had to close it. It reached a point where we rented out the property to The Way World Outreach for five years and held our services at the Elks Lodge. When The Way moved out to their new facility, we had no choice but to come back and do what we could to repair the facility and rebuild our church family. This was a huge, huge load of baggage, and as church treasurer through all this, I got a great lesson in faith! When we were approached by Sandals Church with the offer to merge with their organization, we saw God work in amazing ways,and it's still going on. Sandals has really saved our lives as a body of Christ, and we are incredibly grateful and looking forward to seeing the kind of impact that our original founders were hoping for--and more!

Responsible for Our Time--by Linden Malki

God, in His infinite wisdom and care, created a world that gives us day and night, winter and summer, and even life and death.  We can learn from Jeremiah, who lived through the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonians, and watched the city be destroyed, the Temple furnishings and treasures be stolen; the king, Zedekiah, be captured trying to escape, had to watch his sons being killed, suffered his own eyes being put out, and was taken away as a shackled prisoner. Jeremiah knew that it was the disobedience of God's people that had allowed this to happen, and yet this is what he said :  Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is  bowed down within me. This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him.  It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the Lord. * 

We know we will be held accountable for what we do. We can ask forgiveness either/or from someone who may have been hurt, and from God, the ultimate Judge.  We also know that even though the people of Judah did enough evil to have their nation and city destroyed, including the Temple that had been built for the worship of God; that they did learn, and were enabled to return and rebuild. And yet, it happened again. New days, more prophetic messengers, new years, new politicians and priests, and yet God did something no one could imagine: Sent His Son, a part of His own Being, to be born in a real place, grow up as a real man, and on a real day of a real year, was sentenced and executed by men who claimed to be obeying God.  What they didn't know was that though they would be judged for their actions, God would use this as a way to step in, in a new way to do a new thing.

Each day, each year, each life, and even each moment is new, and offers us a choice. We can do it our way, which even at its best, isn't good enough.  But doing it His way requires that we stop, think, pray, and listen before we fall flat on our faces.  Each year we stop and remember His birth and His death. Each week we come together to worship with each other and learn from each other; to offer a helpful word, an encouragement, a word of sympathy and/or empathy; and go on through this day as a way to have our minds refreshed. Each morning we can look at what we are called to on for that day, and be open to words of hope and love.  Each evening we can reflect on our day, and ask how we could have done better.  Some of us remember our parents sitting or kneeling with us at bedtime, reading and praying with us. I recall sitting with my three older kids talking and asking and answering questions. It is amazing the questions that a child can ask: Where did God come from? I think they had asked all of the basic theological hard ones by about seven.  And the kids had a repertory of prayers: some Biblical, some traditional, some we came up with ourselves.
One of our favorite things to do was to come up with new endings for the traditional "Now I lay me down to sleep'', from books or our own inspirations.  (The original was written in the 1700's, when the child mortality rate was very high.)  In the long run, the people we live with should  know what we believe to be the most important use of our days, weeks, years, and life itself.
*Lamentations 3:19-26 

Personal Baggage--by Linden Malki

We are born wanting things: food, attention, sleep, love.  One of my kids screamed for 20 minutes because she didn't want to eat on the hospital schedule--at two days old. I spent most of today at a family gathering that included my 16-month-old grandson.  He's basically a good kid, but he knows what he wants; his parents have the interesting job of teaching him what is good and what isn't.  That is hopefully the story of our lives: learning right from wrong; healthy from unhealthy. In cooking lunch for the family, decisions were made about what is appropriate and healthy and what isn't.  Parents and kids in the pool kept safety in mind. The bigger cousins were playing table games without squabbling and yelling. Nobody got their feelings or bodies hurt.  This should be "normal", but we've all been places that weren't quite like this.

This is the story of our lives: we make choices all day; some we think about and some we don't.  Our first choice is too often what comes into our minds first off; ignore the alarm that just went off; grab some junk food on our way out the door, and do what comes easy. This is what comes naturally to us; God created us free to follow our worst ideas, but that comes with a price. (I remember telling my kids to not blindly follow every idea that flitted through their heads; to think first.)

 He also gave us guidelines about doing the things that will work right in a world full of other people and challenges. These are not easy, but they are healthier, safer, kinder, more loving, more responsible, and save a lot of trouble in the longer run. And even when we know the guidelines; the right way, and the dangers of the wrong way, we are still tempted to do what we want and not what is right. We can get too involved with the wrong friends; we can go places that can be trouble; we can eat and drink things that will damage our bodies; in general, we can do things that will cause trouble for us and other people. We can find ourselves loaded down with baggage that we have brought upon ourselves, or allowed other people or things to add to the load.

This brings us to things that we may not want to think about. One is that we really cannot keep ourselves out of trouble on our own. We hear folks say that they don't need help; they don't hurt people or cheat people or rob people. If they were honest with themselves, they probably do cut a few corners here or there, but that's not the issue: if something comes that they really are tempted by, or trouble that they get pulled into by other people or circumstances, they don't have what they really need: strength greater than themselves to carry the load that they face. That's the other side of what God offers: the forgiveness when we do get over our heads, and the power of His Spirit to be with us as we face life and its challenges.  And we are going to face tough times, and we will be held accountable for how we deal with them.

Surprises in Faith--by Linden Malki

Mary had faith  that Jesus would be capable of dealing with the wine situation at that wedding at Cana, no question.  Makes you wonder what all Mary had seen in the 30 years of raising the most unusual child in the history of the world!  It is also interesting that Jesus' brothers teased him about things that they had seen him do, but we are told that they didn't believe who he claimed to be; in fact, at one time they tried to take him home as crazy, and even had Mary come along for the what they expected would be a showdown. But at the end, after the Resurrection, two of them became major figures in the history of the church.  But Jesus was willing to accept their belated recognition. Faith is not always easy!

There are several incidents where Jesus healed people without even seeing them, on the words of faith by their family or friends. There was an civic official in Capernaum (who may have been a Roman), whose son was dying; a Phoenician woman with a daughter that was delivered from a demon, who was willing to take whatever He offered, and a Roman centurion whose servant was dying--all who recognized His power. 

Among those who came to Him in desperation were the woman in the crowd who touched the hem of his robe in faith, that even though she was considered "unclean" from her medical condition,  there was a chance that even the least contact with him would heal her.  There was also Bartimeus, a blind man who was sitting by the side of the road entering Jericho, who called out as Jesus was passing on the road, in faith that even this minimal  contact would be enough.

In all these stories and more, Jesus was willing to accept faith as it came, even second-hand, even from random people who were not necessarily his main calling.  He did not turn down any evidence of faith he saw; what he did reject were those who refused to listen and open their minds and hearts. In the time and place where he lived, those were people who had grown up for generations with the words of God and couldn't see past their own way of thinking, and usually their own way of believing they were totally right.

Do we put our own understanding and attitudes above what He is teaching us? We will never know all there is to know about God and His plans for us and our world; are we willing to have faith that He knows best?