How Real is your image? by Linden Malki

If someone were to meet  you for the first time,  do you form an immediate impression of them, or do you think first of their impression of you?  How aware are you of the impression you make on others? The emphasis in last week's study was the negative reactions we evoke in others--either deliberate or unconscious.  Even a blank face means something--often indicating the detachment of an Observer. ( It is interesting that the assumption is that the impression will be negative.)  What also is happening is that while the other person is evaluating you, you are evaluating them as well, and you are both judging each other and planning your own next reaction.  And to make it more fun, your reaction to each other might be immediately positive or negative; and you have the choice.  We can get hung up on a first impression, or we can withhold judgement while we watch for context--and try to guess what the other person is thinking.

Another type of reaction is to react positively, which is sometimes appropriate and sometimes not. Of course, usually it is more likely to get a positive reaction.  This is usually a good thing; if the other person has a positive attitude as well, you are off to a great start. If you can get an idea how their mind works, you can try to work with this rather than against it.

The more you get acquainted with how your own mind works, the more likely you are to recognize the similarities and differences with other people, and use this knowledge to make the most of whatever opportunities you have to work together--or recognize that you are not going to work together well without patience and goodwill. Part of the point of getting acquainted with your enneagram is to recognize ways to work with others--or recognize when that's not happening. We are not limited to the styles with our high scores; but we can learn different approaches to situations and people; some styles work well with seemingly opposite people; some don't work well with similar types. It is also helpful to watch our friends and co-workers for what they do well and what they do well to avoid!

We are all made in His image--but with different facets showing. Part of the process of recognizing our spiritual gifts and individual styles is praying for our eyes to be open to our calling, and to those who we can work well with in His church and His world.