Dealing with the fireworks! by Linden Malki

Love is a great experience--except when it isn't. I've seen the excitement of the butterflies in the tummy--even had it happen once in awhile. I've had a couple of good friends who didn't understand that there is more to "love" than floating around a few inches off the ground, and when the butterflies die off you think it's over and you can walk away. Or even lose interest when somebody you've been watching from a distance shows an interest--and that takes all the fun out of it. One of my friends who had a habit of losing interest began to stalk one guy who she had dumped--after he got a new girlfriend. The thing to learn about "eros" is that you don't learn what you need to know unless you learn what's actually happening.  Yes, there are times when you can fall hard for someone who turns out to be a good match, and you recognize that the excitement always wears off--usually in six months to a year--but if you have kept your eyes open, made a point of praying for the wisdom you need, know what you want and don't want, there's a good chance that it will grow into a blessed and lasting relationship.   

All the different kinds of love have things in common--one is that they require something from us. Healthy families, healthy friendships, and even a healthy relationship with God require effort, watchfulness, an understanding of what a good relationship involves. If we always put ourselves first, this usually doesn't work well. Being a doormat doesn't work well either; it can become a distraction that makes it easy to miss out on things we really should be doing, and it doesn't usually help others either.  Again, applying good sense to a situation helps; recognizing when you are asking too much or too little from someone; interfering with their best interest, making a pest of yourself with other people (or even God).

Another thing that can be tough to wrap our minds around is the footnote to the commandments to love--that we need to have a proper understanding of how we fit into this. It can be easy to get into the habit of ignoring or belittling our own needs, or also to not clearly understand what we are responsible for, and what we are not. I've had instances of answers to prayer tell me to stop fussing and let God deal with it (and the person who triggered the problem eventually unsnarled it); I've been told to use the brain I was given to deal with an issue, and I've been told that I was worrying about the wrong thing and to concentrate on what I was actually called and expected to do. Love should be an important part of our relationships and our walk with God; and His teaching and His Word are the best ways to make it the best part of our lives.